The Slimming Wire Nightmare: Because Starving Just Wasn’t Dramatic Enough

If you’ve ever thought, “You know what would make weight loss more fun? Having my jaw wired shut,” then congratulations—you’ve stumbled upon the absolute worst way to drop a few kilos. Slimming wires have become the latest questionable weight loss trend in South Africa, and honestly, they should come with a warning label: Proceed at Your Own Risk (And With a Backup Dentist on Speed Dial).

The Basics: What Are Slimming Wires?

In a move that makes diet shakes seem luxurious, jaw wiring—also known as inter-maxillary fixation—locks your upper and lower teeth together with metal wires, restricting you to a liquid diet. Originally used to treat jaw fractures, this practice has found its way into the weight loss world, proving once again that some people will try anything to avoid cutting carbs.

What to Expect When You Get Wired (Besides Regret)

So, you’re committed to having your mouth bolted shut? Here’s what you’re signing up for:

1. Zigzag Smiles & Bloody Lips

Unlike traditional braces, which run in neat little rows across your teeth, slimming wires follow a chaotic zigzag pattern from top tooth to bottom tooth, effectively locking your jaws together. But wait, there’s more! Every time you talk, yawn, or attempt to smile at the absurdity of your life choices, your inner lips will shred like a piece of soft biltong. Got a habit of bumping your face into things? Congratulations, you now have a built-in torture device for accidental injuries.

2. Infections Galore

Think about it—your mouth is already a breeding ground for bacteria, and now, thanks to this wiring, it’s also the perfect setting for Mouth Infection: The Sequel. Tiny cuts from wires? Prime real estate for bacteria. Can’t properly brush because, well, your mouth is locked shut? Expect gum disease, oral ulcers, and an unholy breath situation that even the strongest mouthwash can’t fix.

3. Gum Disease: Because Pain Is Fun

Let’s be honest—if your jaw is wired by some dodgy back-alley practitioner who learned about the procedure from TikTok, the chances of infection skyrocket. When wires aren’t applied in a clean, sterile environment, your gums are at risk of turning into a swollen, bleeding, pus-filled disaster zone. And the worst part? Once you develop gum disease, you’re stuck with it for life.

4. The Toothache from Hell

Ever had braces? Then you know that even slight pressure on your teeth can feel like they’re being forcefully evicted from your mouth. Now imagine that but worse. Despite the zigzag wiring, your teeth will still shift, and your roots will scream for mercy. You might not be able to open your mouth, but you’ll definitely be able to curse this decision telepathically.

5. Choking Hazards & The “Oh Crap” Moment

What happens when you have an upset stomach and need to vomit? Well, with your jaw wired shut, the contents have one way out—your nose. Yes, you read that correctly. Vomiting with a wired jaw can result in aspiration (inhaling vomit into your lungs), which is as dangerous as it sounds. Hope you like living on the edge.

But It’s Worth It for Weight Loss… Right? (Spoiler: Nope.)

Let’s say you survive the mouth injuries, infections, and potential choking incidents—what happens when the wires come off? Well, surprise, surprise! The weight loss isn’t permanent. Because starving yourself is not a sustainable lifestyle choice, most people regain all the weight (and then some) once they return to normal eating habits.

The South African Connection: Unqualified Practitioners & Bad Decisions

While the idea of jaw wiring might have originated in the medical field, what’s happening in South Africa is far from regulated. Many desperate individuals aren’t going to qualified dentists—they’re seeking out cheap, unlicensed practitioners who offer these procedures for a fraction of the cost. The result? Shoddy work, unsanitary conditions, and a whole lot of regret.

Final Verdict: Just. Don’t. Do. It.

There are so many ways to lose weight without literally locking yourself into misery. Healthy eating, regular exercise, and science-backed weight loss solutions exist for a reason. Jaw wiring is dangerous, unsustainable, and borderline medieval.

So, before you let someone play dentist with a pair of pliers and a dream, ask yourself—do you really want to lose weight this way? Or do you just need a good, balanced plan that actually works?

If it’s the latter, we’ve got you covered. If it’s the former—good luck drinking your meals through a straw for the next three months.

Educational & Medical Sources

• Wired to lose weight – The procedure, commonly known as amadraad (wire) or ubopha amazinyo (tying your teeth).
• Weight Loss Jaw Wiring – Benefits, Selfcare, Risks & Cost.
• A drastic measure for weight loss? – Here's a nutritionist's take on 'slimming wires'
• Understanding Side Effects – The Hidden Dangers of Slimming Wires
• South African Dental Journal – Should dentists perform independent jaw wiring for weight loss? A principlist analysis
• Is it ethical? – A Research Report submitted to the Faculty of Health Sciences, University of the Witwatersrand, in part fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Science in Medicine in Bioethics & Health Law
• Concern young women  – Turn to jaw-wiring for weight loss